Pondering my ways in the modern hectic world

I came through this morning feeling quite stress-y after stupidly having put my phone in the bedroom rather than downstairs over-night. This meant that my first 30 minutes were spent browsing twitter… and because my twitter feed is geared to health, nutrition and environment, this obviously meant that I was subjected to arguments about meat / vegan diets; new evidence on saturated fats (not so bad of us after all) and eggs (good all round); various health related / medical feeds on Corona Virus (still spreading, still the same outlook, still panic, still taking up more space than the bigger global health threat of climate change); suggestions to petition the government or take part in further consultations on HS2, the ocean treaty, increasing the energy into the national grid in various ways, increasing cycling paths, improving public transport, and the transition of petrol to E10 at petrol pumps.

It made me think about a) how I spend my time first thing in the morning – lack of intent leads to lack of time management leads to stress, and b) the fact I can’t change the whole world.

However it also made me think about the fact I can change me and I can influence those near to me. And if I don’t over-stretch myself I will be more consistent, I will actually live the priorities I claim to have, as they won’t be crowded out by everything else I am trying vainly to do … and over a fairly short time I (or we, or anyone who does similarly) can expand our influence to others.

Of course in my GP role I know this well. I use my training, knowledge and position to empower others to make changes. I do brief interventions, I work with the patient in partnership – 1:1, and sometimes through that I see changes in an entire family.  I need to put this to use in other parts of my life.

We currently home-school our children. This means I get a lot of input into their lives, their developing personalities and their belief systems.  I am always telling them that the environment and climate change are the most important issues of our time; that our health depends on the food we eat, the exercise we get, the attitudes we have; and that being kind and good should trump being right or clever … But when it comes to day to day life, what they see is that their educational attainment is the most important priority in my life. It’s not that that shouldn’t be important, but in the interests of their academic education I drive them places (in an electric car, but still it uses energy), I buy coffee and a sandwich so we can get on to the next thing, I shout because I’m stressed, and I stress that I am right in what they need to do, rather than showing kindness and goodness. … I am not living what I am preaching.

So, if I did, what would life look like?

I’m not quite sure.

I know I’d spend more time in the garden, I know I’d spend less time driving to things in other towns, I think I’d spend more time with the people who are nearby, whoever they are, rather than the people who are ‘like me’ but further away. I hope I would talk to these people about the climate, about their diet, about growing their own. I might eat 80% paleo rather than the current 50%. I’d probably be fitter – from the gardening and the not-driving. I’m pretty sure I’d still be a GP. I think my children would learn less academically. … But I wonder: Does that matter if they learn to love the land and the people we live with?